Fresh Starts and New Beginnings

Saturday, February 1, 2014

"I am in charge of how I feel, and today I am choosing happiness."

Fall quarter was rough. There's no two ways about it... the ten weeks of fall were some of the toughest ten weeks I've ever had. Not that they were bad. In fact, there are several times over the course of fall quarter that I will look back on as some of my favorite memories, but as a whole it was very challenging.

Some of the positives were that I was trusted with a large responsibility in my sorority, I got a little sis (who is beautiful and perfect), and finally declared my major! I'm officially a History major with minors in Leadership Studies (courtesy of PLP) and French.

There were a lot of downsides, and a lot of things that I would rather leave behind. I took some really challenging courses, and I did not spend enough time on my studies. I had to deal with some deeply difficult personal issues, especially related to my health and well-being.

The thing about last quarter was that I did not make good choices. My choices did not reflect my needs, but my desires or my idea about what others would say I "should" do. I did not listen to my body, or my heart, and as a result my mental, emotional, and physical health was compromised and ultimately I just felt angry, resentful, and sad (not to mention sick with an endless cold).

Over break, I was more than happy to leave behind my life in Denver for a 10 days while I went to Belize. I savored every minute of my time there, and I learned some very valuable lessons and received some really great and much needed reminders of how good life is.

How could you not feel good when holding a baby croc named Rose? 

One of my new favorite places in the world.

A pretty blatant reminder. Also my computer background.

Although I certainly dreaded going back to Denver, I was determined to change, and to make this year a better year.

That didn't quite work. For the first few weeks of this quarter (i.e. 2014), I have brought the pain and anger from last quarter with me into this quarter. But that stops now. There have been some recent developments in my life, and I feel like right now is the best opportunity I have to start fresh, and almost start over.

I am making choices that reflect my hopes for my path, my strengths, and the things that will make me happy. I am choosing not to let my past, and all of its pain and fear, intrude on my present and affect my future. Today, I am choosing to be happy. I am choosing to be the person I admire, and the person I I am, not the person who worries all the time and does not take care of herself. I am choosing to start fresh. I am choosing to accept the challenges, be grateful for the journey, and to take care of myself.

I have also been obsessed with this song: Happy by Pharrell Williams. The general beat just makes me feel happy!

Fresh starts feel good. Who else wants a fresh start?

"May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears." - Nelson Mandela

Thank you for reading.



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